When Things I Remember
by Wijida
Summary: As Catherine once said, "It wasn't all bad". Catherine visits the home she and Eddie once shared, to say goodbye.


**Disclaimer: CSI belongs to CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer. If I owned them...wouldn't my life be complete. :)**

When Things I Remember

By Manda

            _They'd made love on the blue satin bed sheets, thighs touching, his skin silky with sweat, and hers glistening softly in the soft moonlight cast through the branches of the tree outside their open window. The breeze had been gentle, gauzy lavender curtains casting shadows across the cream colored carpet, the shadows rippling as waves upon a shore. And she'd cry out his name, scream at the top of her lungs as his body, lean and muscled, held itself over her, the pleasure and the pain of his thrusts giving her a thrill she'd repeated many times, yet never tired of feeling as it shuddered through her body._

            Her heels sunk into the carpet, thick rubber boot heels leaving an impression that slowly filled as she walked across the empty expanse. The curtains were gone, an empty metal bar hanging crookedly across the closed window, moon rising high behind the skeleton branches of a long dead tree. The tree which had witnessed so much in her past, things it could never share...her only witness to the nights she'd cried, laughed, sworn she could love him and sworn she would leave him. 

            The ghosts were here- she could feel him watching, breath in her ear, hands gripping her shoulders as he would whisper sweet nothings, or hiss angrily that if she ever told a soul...if she ever lied to him...

            "Dammit, Ed." She crossed the room to stand by the window, washed in the familiar light, glancing back in time to hear the voices in the yard, see a two year old Lindsey, blond braids swinging, running around in the backyard. She would fold laundry, stand at the window and watch her baby play on a swing set which Eddie had so lovingly hammered together, shirt off and chest glistening in the sunlight as he carefully pounded each nail into the finely grained wood. 

_            "Do you love me, Catherine?"_

            "Yeah, I do." He'd meet her at the door when she came home at night, weary from dancing, baggy UNLV sweatshirt hanging over her lean torso, muscular legs clad in cutoff shorts, barely visible beneath the hem. And she'd smile, and giggle, kissing the hollow of his throat as he'd lift her, light as a feather, into his arms and carry her to the bedroom. All that sex, rough and ready, and never once had she imagined they would have a baby so soon...when he'd assured her he was careful, he was prepared for anything.

            "Our baby misses you, Ed." She moved into the upstairs hallway, surrounded by doorways that led to more empty rooms, offshoots of her past she couldn't dare re-visit. The ghosts still lived in every room...where they'd made love, drank coffee, fought and had words regarding every single aspect of their married lives. But she'd held out for so long, and as she turned, staring briefly into every room, she wondered how it was that she had done that. "And damn you, you bastard...I miss you, too."

            "Catherine!" The voice calling from below broke the bubble of the memories, and she turned, glancing over the railing for the stairs leading down, calling a name through the empty house. 

            "Grissom, I'll be down in a minute. Just...give me one more." The air was chilly up there, and she walked to the end of the hall, closing a partially opened window, shrugging her coat onto her shoulders and turning up the collar before starting down the stairs, pausing on the first step to glance back toward her...their...bedroom for the last time.

            "Well, Eddie Willows...it was fun while it lasted." As she reached behind her to gently close the door, there was the lingering feeling of a hand on her shoulder, a kiss on her cheek- the only tender memory she cared to remember- and she jogged down the steps with a faint smile. 

            "_Yeah, Cath. Yeah, it was fun."_

-Fin


End file.
